A Community Service of The Center for Relationship Enrichment


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Archive for April, 2009

Is the divorce rate higher in urban or rural areas?

Monday, April 27th, 2009

Research suggests that urban areas tend to have less strict social codes and norms and religious backings.  These effects can lead to an increase in divorce.  Also, there are more “fish in the sea” for people of urban areas.  The contrary is true in the rural areas.  Where population is low, there are fewer prospects for another suitor.  Also, in rural areas, there tends to be a higher emphasis on family farm work vs. market work.  It would be harder for a man, or a woman, to leave a marriage where work is not centered on the labor market.  Not only are a man and woman in a marital union, but also partners in business.  They depend on each other to help run the farm.  In the event of a divorce, not only has each lost a life partner, but a business partner as well, making it more difficult to go through a divorce.

 

What do you think?

Research suggests that urban areas tend to have less strict social codes and norms and religious backings. These effects can lead to an increase in divorce. Also, there are more “fish in the sea” for people of urban areas. The contrary is true in the rural areas. Where population is low, there are fewer prospects for another suitor. Also, in rural areas, there tends to be a higher emphasis on family farm work vs. market work. It would be harder for a man, or a woman, to leave a marriage where work is not centered on the labor market. Not only are a man and woman in a marital union, but also partners in business. They depend on each other to help run the farm. In the event of a divorce, not only has each lost a life partner, but a business partner as well, making it more difficult to go through a divorce.

What do you think?

25 ways

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

I (Greg) was just on KLRC this morning talking about a very interesting article about 25 ways to make a woman anxious and 25 ways to stimulate shame in a man. For women, some of the answers in the article were things like ignore her, take her for granted, yell or get angry, or dismiss her ideas…what about you? For men, the article quoted things like correct what he says, overreact, criticize, or use a harsh tone…what about you? I’m curious about your thoughts…in the context of your marriage, as a woman, what makes you anxious or as a man, what stimulates a feeling of shame?

Marriage Flowerbeds

Monday, April 20th, 2009

I (Erin) love spring! It’s such a breath of fresh air after the long winter. The trees have new growth, the flowers bloom, and the grass turns from brown to different shades of green. This is what I truly love about spring time—the new radiant colors of purple, green, yellow and orange that slowly began to grow and blossom. Our marriages go through seasonal changes as well. It’s important that we evaluate what isn’t working and replant new life in our marriage. Recently, I took inventory of my own marriage “flowerbed” to evaluate what wasn’t growing and producing great life. Do Greg and I truly connect each day? Are we united on parenting issues? Do we manage our finances in a way that brings us closer together? What simple things could I “plant” to bring a new vibrancy to our relationship? Notice the word “I”—what can I do to create positive change in our marriage.

Over the next few days, I encourage you to spend some time reflecting on your marriage relationship. Are there any areas that you’d like to see refreshed for springtime? Are there a few intentional behaviors that would help you grow a stronger, more vibrant marriage? Take time to evaluate where you desire to improve and grow your marital relationship. What will make your “relational” flower beds flourish with the new, vibrant colors of spring?

I Was Wrong

Monday, April 13th, 2009

Last week my husband and I (Sherri) had a disagreement over who was supposed to pay the electric bill. We both had extremely busy days at work, plus having 2 extremely busy teenagers on top of it did not help any. At dinner that night, we realized neither of us paid the bill that was due the next day. I thought that he said that he would take care of it during his lunch hour. At least that is what I thought he said as I ran out of the house late that morning. Needless to say, my buttons got pushed and I reacted at dinner. After my children pointed out what they heard that morning, I realized that I was mistaken. I knew right then that I needed to apologize and ask forgiveness to my husband. For my reaction was not pleasant to him earlier. All at once, I remembered 9 words that I had learned at our last “I Choose Us” seminar from Dr. Gary J. Oliver.

I was wrong. I am sorry. Please forgive me.

After I said those 9 words with sincerity, we were able to have a great night. Can you relate? We invite you to attend one of our seminars, where you too can learn helpful, practical information that can help your relationships.

Making Marriage a Priority

Monday, April 6th, 2009

Thanks to all of you who attended the I Choose Us marriage seminar in Ft. Smith this past weekend! It is exciting to see couples making marriage a priority and recognizing that great marriages don’t just happen. I (Jackson) had an opportunity to speak with a young couple that came. They attended because their parents had been to the I Choose Us seminar in March, had an excellent experience, and encouraged them to go. The encouragement was not just in words - their parents also watched their kids and paid for them to attend! It was great to see how this family went the extra mile to make sure that this young couple had the opportunity to enrich their marriage. I wonder how much the marriages in our community would be impacted if we all made a commitment, like this family, to make marriages a priority in our actions.