With this new and very hot month of August, comes our next NWA Marriage Adventure, WeListen. This month we encourage you to really focus on what it means not just hear each other, but to truly listen to one another. Below is some helpful information of why it’s important to listen to each other and some tips for doing this well. And, don’t forget to check out all of the info for this month’s NWA Marriage Adventure.

In order to have a happy, successful marriage you have to make yourself an expert in communication. And, the secret of good communication is not talking but listening.

Listening is the art of connecting with your spouse so you fully understand what they are saying and feeling. Listening is choosing to make your primary goal understanding rather than being understood.

Think back to when you first started dating. Remember how much you talked. It felt wonderful to have someone listen to you–to pay attention to what you were saying. This was one of the reasons why you fell in love. If listening and being heard with a caring and loving heart made you fall in love, doesn’t it make sense that listening would also help you sustain a loving marriage over time?

THE FIRST DUTY OF LOVE IS TO LISTEN!

One of the greatest gifts one spouse can give to the other is the gift of listening. But, far too many couples only hear one another. Few actually listen. So, how good a listener are you? Here are some listening tips:

 Be silent!
 Be present—give great eye contact
 Resist external distractions
 Be patient and don’t interrupt
 Don’t judge—be curious
 Focus on their feelings and emotions
 Ask questions to clarify
 Repeat back what your spouse is saying
 Validate what is being said
 Empathize—feel what they are feeling
 Manage your emotions so you don’t react

Don’t leave your spouse starving to be heard by you. If your spouse can’t talk to you, they may be tempted to talk to someone else who will listen. We encourage you to make a conscious effort to listen with your head and your compassionate heart. Plan a special NWA Marriage Adventures date night to have the kind of conversation you once did when you were dating. And, don’t be surprised if you find a new “spark” in your marriage.