What do you think? Is marriage really an outdated institution that is a thing of the past? Or, with the soaring divorce rates and increase in cohabitation, are people just afraid of failure?

We would love to hear what you think!

How would you rate the level of passion, spark, romance, excitement and “sizzle” in your marriage?
• Blazing
• Hot
• Warm
• Cold
• Frozen

If your marriage could use some more spice, try out some of these simple suggestions. (If you’ve read our earlier blog post, this continues our list.)

1. Look the part. It may seem rather silly to have to point out what should be very obvious, but you would be surprised how many people have mentioned basic grooming habits being a problem in their relationship. There isn’t much that can diminish the spark between husband and wife than to see your spouse looking frumpy and disheveled.

2. Be touchy and feely! Begin and end each day by physically touching your spouse with hugs and kisses. Hold hands, hug, kiss, offer back rubs and shoulder massages, cuddle, spoon. The more you practice being affectionate, the more connected you feel and the more your passion for each other will grow.

3. Do something unexpected. Show up at your spouse’s work for lunch. Give a full-body massage after the kids go to sleep. Write a note on a Post-It and leave it on the mirror. Get out of the sweats and wear something sexy. Surprise them with a love letter from you (handwritten) and a rose in their car. Surprise each other once in a while.

4. Create a romantic atmosphere at home. Put the kids to bed at a reasonable hour. Turn off the TV. Keep a ready supply of scented candles to make the home smell nice, turn on some soft romantic music and dim the lights. The rest is up to you!

While it may be true that the initial passion and spark begins to wane after a period of time, fueled by the responsibilities of caring for children, laundry, jobs, the mortgage, soccer practice and dance recitals, many couples tend to forget that their first priority is to their spouse and marriage. Never stop courting each other! Write notes, send texts, cook together, compliment each other, do the things you did before kids. Seduce each other. Make a fuss over your partner the way you used to. It’s time to spice things up, relight the fire and bring passion, excitement and “sizzle” back into your marriage!

If you weren’t able to participate in our Chick-fil-A Spicy Date Night on July 16, there are still all kinds of ways you can spice up your marriage with ideas from our WeSpice Marriage Adventure. We have highlighted places all over NWA that you and your spouse can enjoy as you bring the “spice” to your marriage. Don’t forget to print the Date Guide that has a lot of fun questions that will help you continue to get to know each other better. Have fun spicing up your marriage!!!

Our whole goal for NWA Marriage Adventures is to to make sure you and your spouse are connecting positively and enjoying each other’s company on a regular basis. It doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. The important thing is to make spending time alone together a priority for you both. So, we hope you were able to do this by participating in our Chick-fil-A Spicy Date Night!

If you did participate in this event, we would love to hear (and see) how things went. You can either leave yoru comments on this blog, or go to the NWA Marriage Adventures website and leave us feedback with your comments and pictures. We would love to hear from you!!!

SPICY DATE NIGHT - Friday, July 16th

On Friday, July 16th NWA couples have the opportunity to experience a fun date
night adventure while enjoying a free Spicy Chicken Sandwich from Chick-fil-A.®
Visit the WeSpice page today to download your date guide along with your coupon for a free spicy chicken sandwich!

So, come out and join us for a fun and spicy night at your local Chick-fil-A!!!

And, we would love to hear about your date night. You can post on our blog, Twitter or the feedback section on the NWA Marriage Adventures website.

A marriage goes through many seasons over the years, and some of these are more satisfying than others. Often the initial phases of a relationship are the most exciting and interesting because everything is so new and fresh. You are learning about each other and discovering something new each day. The familiarity hasn’t set in yet, and seeing each other is still exhilarating.

As time passes by, however, what was once new and thrilling can become older and more familiar. The relationship might not seem as exciting as it was in the beginning. Does it ever feel like the excitement has faded in your marriage and has been replaced by the growing demands and responsibilities of married life? If so, there is no need to panic. Don’t mistake this for a negative sign. It’s just a normal progression of all human relationships. All couples get into a rut from time to time. And yet, this is not the type of association that we want with our marriage. No one wants to use words like rut, boring, uninteresting, tedious, monotonous, uninspiring or humdrum when describing their marriage. You’d be hard pressed to find any of these words in a wedding ceremony!

The reality is that it takes sincere effort to keep your marriage growing. A “spicy” marriage takes constant attention, nurture and care on the part of both people to keep the relationship strong, refreshed, alive and exciting.

Could your marriage be a little more romantic, adventurous, spontaneous or more fun? Is your relationship as good as it can get, or has it lost a bit of its pizzazz and could use a boost? If so, here are a few tips that will help you spice up your marriage.

TIPS FOR BRINGING BACK THE SIZZLE

1. Let’s talk about it. Open and honest communication is vital to keep the spark alive. It’s important though, to have specific times where you don’t discuss the kids, jobs, bills or other stress related topics, and use the time to really connect with each other as friends and lovers.

2. Give plenty of compliments. Tell your spouse why you love her. Appreciate your spouse for his achievements. Express genuine appreciation and gratitude for the things they do.

3. Flirt with your spouse. Make time during the day to call or text message your spouse to let them know you are thinking about them. Don’t use that time to complain about the kids, the in-laws, or bills piling up. Everyone likes to know that someone is thinking about them, and it’ll boost their day just knowing that you took the time.

4. Make small gestures. Periodically surprise your spouse with small gifts or activities to let them know you’re thinking of them. Do something thoughtful, whether it’s bringing home flowers, buying them something you know they wanted or taking out the trash. The little things really do count.

5. Bring back the fun! Be spontaneous! Be silly and goofy with each other, laugh a lot and enjoy the pleasure of each other’s company. Create opportunities for fun together!

6. WeSpice Marriage Adventure. Take part in this month’s marriage adventure. This is a great way to spice things up this month. Click HERE for more information.

Click HERE for more about this month’s Marriage Adventure, WeSpice.

If you weren’t able to attend the game, there is still a chance to do something together as a team. For the WeWin Marriage Adventure, we have compiled several options in our area that you can do for your adventure this month. Click here for a list of fun options. When you do decide on one, take advantage of the steps for planning your adventure and some helpful questions you can take along with you.

Do you ever feel like adversaries or that you’re stuck in one of these power struggles with your spouse? Although we try to find “win/win” solutions to our disagreements, this can feel impossible to achieve at times. Too many of us end up settling for what we see as a win/lose option. It may not be the best and we’d really rather avoid it; but at least it’s not the worst, either. In other words, we “compromise.”

WE’RE ON THE SAME TEAM!

When we opt for the win/lose approach, however, we don’t really get one winner and one loser. In fact, we wind up with two losers. We get, not a win/lose, but a lose/lose. There is no such thing as a win/lose in a marriage. It’s either a win/win or a lose/lose. Everybody wins or everybody loses, period. There is no other option.

Many couples set themselves up for failure because they face off as adversaries when dealing with common problems or when trying to make a decision about something. Why is this so? It’s true because people in a marriage are on the same team. If one person in the marriage “loses,” then both people in the marriage lose.

We encourage you to make a commitment to a new way of doing things by establishing a “teammates” mentality. This attitude says that it’s unacceptable for either person to walk away from an interaction feeling as if they just lost. Instead, as teammates, redefine winning in your marriage as finding solutions that both people feel great about. A winning solution goes beyond a plan of attack that seems merely acceptable or tolerable to you both. That’s compromise, and compromises rarely make anyone feel good. On the other hand, a win/win solution makes both people feel valued and instantly restores unity and connection.

For ideas on a great date night and to find ways to create a win/win in your marriage, go to www.nwamarriageadventures.com

Unfortunately, failing to make time for playful activities together may come at a higher cost than just a few missed dates. The lifeblood of a relationship is the enjoyable time we spend together. Without fun time together, the connection between you withers and it becomes increasingly difficult to reconnect.

The great news is the more you invest in fun, play, and friendship in marriage, the happier and stronger your relationship will become over time. As a matter of fact, couples who participated in fun activities together reported greater increases in relationship quality. The quality of the relationship improved before and after enjoying just 7 minutes of quality time together! Having fun and being playful is a great way to get rid of stress, and it helps to compensate for the stressful time we spend with each other raising our children by taking time to escape together.

How to Play as a Couple

1. Stop acting your age! Children naturally search for fun in everything they do. And that continual search fills them with an amazing level of energy, creativity and optimism. So, stop acting your age and reacquaint yourself with your childlike willingness to have fun in whatever you are doing!

2. Don’t feel guilty. We need to develop our capacity for enjoyment. When we work, we need to work hard and when we play, we need to play hard. Give yourself permission to sit back and relax. There should be no guilt when we enjoy each other.

3. Get out of the “rut.” Married couples often fall into a rut because of the familiarity of their date night routine. The only way to shake yourself out of a date night rut is to avoid old habits and familiar routines and try something that is creative and different.

Refuse to allow busyness and responsibility to trump your enjoyment of each other. The more you invest in fun and friendship with your spouse, the more satisfying and stronger your martial relationship will get over time.

Be sure to visit www.nwamarriageadventures.com to learn more about how to have a great marriage date night adventure!

We hope to see you and your spouse this Saturday at the Fayetteville Town Center!