So here we are — 25 days into the new year — how are you doing on those resolutions?

If you’re like the rest of us, the answer is probably not as good as we had hoped. The new gym membership has lost a little bit of its luster; the diet food has become increasingly more bland; and the credit card debt once again appears insurmountable.

I think one of the biggest problems with our resolutions is that we approach them in the wrong way. We are so focused on losing something, or getting rid of something (i.e. weight, debt, etc.) that we adopt a negative mindset. Even just slightly altering our resolutions could breed a more upbeat and positive lifestyle. I want to spend more time in the gym; I want to eat more healthy foods. Focusing on doing more of something may engender a new attitude towards your resolution; they may no longer seem to be as difficult and exhausting.

But here at NWA Healthy Marriages, we want you to consider making one of your resolutions in your marriage. Spend more time with your spouse. Research has shown that the amount of quantity time you have with your spouse has a dramatic effect on a marriage’s level of happiness. Dr. John Gottman found that couples who are happy spend at least 20 minutes of their day, “turning towards” their spouse in positive and affirming interactions.

It’s up to you and your spouse to personalize this “turning towards” one another. Doing household chores together. Watching a TV show together. Going shopping together. The possibilities are endless.

We believe that making this resolution will impact your life more than trying to lose a few pounds will. Take the time to talk to your spouse and create a new resolution together. You might even find that this resolution will be one worth renewing each January 1st.