So when does a friendship teeter on becoming a threat to your marriage? Clear red flags include friendships enshrouded in secrecy or friendships fueled by strong sexual chemistry that is acknowledged and engaged. Another harbinger of trouble can be the consistent revelation of emotions, feelings or thoughts to a friend that you are unwilling to share with a spouse. In that instant, the emotional connection in the friendship becomes more intimate than that in the marriage, and this borders on the dangerous. Yet another clear sign emerges when discussing problems in the primary relationship becomes the focus of the friendship. This is particularly dangerous if the friend has no vested interest in the health of the marriage, or if the spouse would perceive such discussions as a violation of the marriage. Remember that airing your dirty laundry highlights vulnerability and conveys potential availability.
- Dr. Leslie Parrott